“You go Glen Coco!”

Last weekend I watched Mean Girls again for the first time in years and not only did it remind me how close it is to my heart (seriously, that film can still have me hysterically laughing even after seeing it countless times) but it also got me thinking about my teenage self and how much I have grown since I was in that awkward phase of my life.

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Recently I have started a new job which is extremely exciting, busy and new, but for someone with anxiety it can also pose some uncertainties which is pretty much the main thing those with anxiety fear most.

So when I sat down to watch Mean Girls last weekend I could feel I was beginning to have a bit of a mental dip and worry about things perhaps more than I had in a little while and the familiar tightness in my chest was coming and going in waves. Watching this film though sent me back to my old teenage mind set, and reminded me how far I have come as a person.

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When I was a teenager the anxieties I had included my friendship groups falling apart at any moment, if my hair wasn’t perfectly straight would everyone laugh at me and just generally what other people thought of me.

As I have grown older I have realised that although these worries don’t matter as much, you replace those teenage anxieties with more adult ones – how am I going to afford that phone bill, will I get that job I applied for or my personal favourite…if the cat escaped out the flat would she find her way home? (Genuinely this terrifies me.)

So perhaps you do replace old anxieties with just new and improved ones, but the difference is as you grow older you work out how to deal with them as they come and you develop coping strategies. You’ve gained that experience to know the world won’t stop turning if you don’t get that job, you just have to try again.

As my mind has developed so much, particularly over the last year, although there are uncertainties with my new job I feel like I can cope with it, and process it as it comes. I’ve been diving in head first and taking on as much responsibility as I can and just getting involved where I can too because it is a job I wanted for so long I have to go in hard!

I did find myself feeling quite guilty about feeling anxious about it all too because I thought this is exactly what you’ve wanted, you shouldn’t be feeling like this, that’s ungrateful, which of course feeds into the bad mind set even further which isn’t good!

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I think it’s important to just ride the wave sometimes and also remind yourself anxiety around certain things in life like work, relationships and cats escaping is totally normal and it’s okay to feel like that. Just remember to go with it, and not say “I’m okay” if you’re not that day.

I’m constantly working on opening up more to people around me, I haven’t told anyone at all really about this little dip and how I’m feeling at the moment and that’s linked into that feeling of guilt and why should I be feeling this way when I’ve just got the job I’ve been gunning for for so long. What I need to do is work on some kindness towards myself, but like everything you have to keep checking in and working on it.

So keep riding the wave and just remember…

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“I will however never ever ever ever WILLINGLY touch a car roof.”

“The truth is that troublesome things tend to remain troublesome no matter how many times you do them, and that you should avoid doing them unless they are absolutely urgent.”

Lemony Snicket

I’ve been in a really strange head space recently. Work is very quiet, the students are too busy stressing out about their exams to spend any time at Reception these days…ahhh remember being a student?

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So as a result I have had perhaps a bit more time than normal to think about things, how I’m feeling and where I’m at in my own head and I realised that I’m not feeling amazing.

That’s okay of course, you don’t have to be singing and dancing 24/7 because then you wouldn’t be able to appreciate the really super times in life, but what do you do when you are having those dips?

Well part of me instinctively wants to just climb into bed and fester there for a few days and hope that that’ll fix everything…that works right?

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Okay no it doesn’t work and to be fair it just isn’t a viable option…I have a cat to feed!

My self-esteem is quite low at the moment as I am paranoid about the weight I have put on recently and I’m very aware of the fact I feel like it’s showing on my face if you look at me from the side. Just bleurgghh!!

So because of that I then feel like any kind of make up I put on is just a bit of a waste of time and people will think “why bother?”. Of course I am sure that isn’t true, but when you get in that kind of  thought process it’s sometimes tricky to break it right?

So I did what all sensible people do when they are feeling self conscious…I changed my hair colour.

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*Now obviously I look as good as Beyoncé.

(*Disclaimer: I don’t look even remotely like Beyoncé.)

It’s been a change up, so now rather than looking at my fuller cheeks in the mirror I think “your hair is lighter than it was before. Nice!” and it’s been refreshing, and I’ve had some nice compliments on it too which was great!

Another old sensation that has cropped up again, and one that is quite closely linked with my anxiety and OCD, is feeling really claustrophobic constantly and I kind of find wherever I am sat whether it’s driving my car to work, or just sat at home, I feel like there’s too much stuff around me and I can’t focus properly. It’s really unpleasant. I could be in an empty room the size of a football pitch and still feel like I was stuck in a hoarder’s front room with no way out.

How do I fix this? The easy answer is…I have absolutely no idea.

This is part of my personality that I’ve had ever since I can remember. Just a real feeling of uncomfortable-ness and hyper-awareness of every object around me and the feeling that the clothes on my body are suffocating me…

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And not being able sit in a comfortable position no matter what I try because however I sit I feel frustrated and suffocated!

I think it also links into my difficulty to process over-stimulation too – if something is moving too fast, or too bright or smells too strong or basically is too much of anything my brain literally ceases to function and I can start to feel really sick and unwell. Certain fabrics literally make my blood run cold!

(The fabric on the roof of a car…oh my god. If I catch my nail on that…literally even typing that made my whole body shudder.)

I think the key to all this is although I can’t necessarily totally remove it from my mind, I can use tools to soothe it. For example, grounding myself, sitting in an upright, but comfortable, position and taking deep breaths is a big help! Much like when you’re having an anxiety attack, regulating your breathing is so important and key to bringing you back into the present.

As for my weight, that’s just an on-going process to solve I think, making sure I exercise more is a big one!

So yes, I’m not feeling great at this moment in time, but like all good and bad things eventually it’ll come to an end and I’ll feel better again…I will however never ever ever ever WILLINGLY touch a car roof.

Never.

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“A detox. A big, massive, see you later detox.”

So I was talking to my boss at work this week about my car insurance renewal and how it’s more expensive that it was last year which is weird because I have 2 years no claims…

“So this is the weird thing…I got the paperwork through yesterday evening, saw the price and sort of shrugged it off because I had just got home and couldn’t be bothered to think about it and I didn’t think about it for the rest of the night and went to bed and that was that. Then at 5am on the dot this morning my eyes snapped open and a voice in my head went “that car insurance price isn’t right” And at 5am I was on a comparison website on my phone, putting in my details and getting car insurance quotes. What is wrong with me?!”

And my boss replied…

“Because I know you quite well Abby…that isn’t that weird and doesn’t surprise me much at all.”

And I got thinking about the countless amount of times I have woken up bolt upright at a stupid time, whether it’s late at night or ridiculously early in the morning and had to investigate something because that voice in my head woke me up and said “that’s not right.”

No brain, you’re not right!

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I’ve researched things to do with my health, my cats health, cars, music, mental illness, how to plan a wedding, TV aerial installation, flats, money help, essays, Xbox games, Playstation games, dream meanings, films, directors, artists, dinosaurs, sharks, Lady Gaga (big love to LG!) – honestly the list is extensive and it’s like my brain is constantly shouting “don’t sleep Abby! You don’t need to sleep…look at all this stuff you could be looking at!”

I’ve heard from a lot of people who have this problem, not just those suffering with anxiety. It’s really common for people to not be able to shut off when they are trying to sleep, or wake up late at night with their thoughts going on and on. But the thing I wonder is if people have these thoughts then act upon them like I do and that’s probably the thing that frustrates me most about this.

If it was just thoughts it’d be annoying but I’d just sit there with it but I think because of my anxiety combined with my OCD it then results in me going “I have to check this right this second.”

HOWEVER, I think I may have found a way to help soothe this part of my mind…

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A detox. A big, massive, see you later detox.

I decided one of the possible causes for my brain over-thinking sometimes was spending way too much time on my phone, purely out of habit. So I did the unthinkable and deleted the Facebook apps from my phone.

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I know, I know. I hope you were all sat down for that bombshell.

So I deleted those little blue buggers and within a couple of hours I felt better. Literally a few hours.

I wasn’t sitting there scrolling through my Facebook news feed or checking messenger to see if anyone had popped up. I had left my phone alone.

Even now I still haven’t re-downloaded the apps and I have no interest in doing so either. I feel so much lighter and more able to focus on my immediate surroundings and enjoy the moment a lot more.

Learning how to enjoy the moment has been key for me in helping my busy thoughts and mind and who would have thought something as simple as deleting some apps from my phone would also prove to be vital in my personal growth.

So maybe just have a little think (it seems a bit counterproductive to say to someone who is over-thinking to think I know) about what things you can perhaps cut out a bit. And by no means does it have to be permanent at all, just try it.

Even if it’s for one afternoon, just try deleting an app you’re constantly scrolling through or try and get away from your laptop. Whatever it is you feel is distracting your mind and draining your energy.

I guarantee Facebook will still be there when you get back.

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PS. I have every intention of sharing this on my Facebook page yes, but I shall log out immediately afterwards! Don’t judge me!

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Why “13 Reasons Why” is Important

Chances are if you haven’t watched Netflix’s new teen drama “13 Reasons Why” you have probably heard about it.

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The series is based on the novel by Jay Asher of the same name, and I pretty much binge watched it in the space of 2 days.

The premise behind the story is a young girl called Hannah commits suicide at the start of the series, and throughout the 13 episodes we follow one of her friends Clay as he listens to Hannah speak to him through cassette tapes she left behind, explaining 13 reasons why she chose to end her own life.

Now, I was pretty excited to delve into this series when I first heard about it. As someone who has suffered with anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts I am always optimistic, if not wary, when I see a TV show or film cover this complex topic as it has the ability to bring things into light and get people talking. However, the first few episodes of this little series disappointed me.

Don’t get me wrong, I was interested in certain characters and how their stories would unfold (except Bryce. He was pretty unlikable from the get go) and I felt the underlying vibe that Hannah was narrating us through each scene, taking us into her world through cassette tapes was quite interesting and compelling.

But one thing both myself and my fiancé noticed, was how chipper Hannah sounded in these recordings. Baring in mind when she made these tapes she had already decided she was going to end her life, so presumably she was feeling pretty depressed by this point but there was no indication of that.

Okay I get that having a “mopey” narrator throughout the series would perhaps also not be ideal either from an “audience” perspective, but have some middle ground maybe? She makes no mention of her mental health at that moment in time, or how low she’s feeling, and instead focuses all her attention into explaining each person who did her wrong at the start of her mental decline. This isn’t necessarily wrong either mind you, as the bullying, and “slut shaming” dealt by these people are definitely crucial parts of Hannah’s story, and the early stages of what she identifies herself as a butterfly effect and perhaps she didn’t want to draw attention to how she was feeling, and wanted to focus more on those who did her wrong.

But making very little mention of her embarrassment and shame or a decrease in self-worth felt really unrealistic and like a missed opportunity in explaining the more in-depth feelings behind depression, but I persevered and carried on watching despite my initial thoughts.

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As the series went on, I felt myself settling in. Yes the lines were cheesy, yes there were cliches around every corner and Bryce’s character was still just as awful but it was okay. I was feeling more and more sympathetic for Clay, the guy who loved Hannah from afar and was desperate to just be there for her despite what other people said. He had been sucked into this world he quite frankly was better off not knowing about so he could just mourn the loss of his friend in peace.

Clay discovers he is on tape 11, but Hannah makes it clear he isn’t one of the reasons she “did what she did” although this doesn’t make Clay feel any better. Again, this is something else I struggled with.

The reason Clay is on tape 11 is because Hannah explains how she came to watch one of her friends be sexually assaulted, and the reason she was in the room, alone, hiding in the first place is because she asked Clay to leave her alone in there (which he did) after she couldn’t bare the thought of being intimate with him because of how she had been treated in recent months.

Again, I totally get Hannah’s point of view. When you have been labelled as “easy” and taunted and touched inappropriately, if someone is kissing you it’s definitely a logical reaction to think they only care about sex and not you as an individual. Fair enough, but laying that out to Clay, someone Hannah regularly admits to be the only one she cares about, in the recordings as though his leaving her alone is another part of the ever growing butterfly effect is just wrong. Poor Clay…now he’s got a lifetime of guilt on top of him too…but I digress.

By the final few episodes it seemed clear to me that this show had missed the mark completely on what should have been it’s main focus. Hannah’s decline in mental health.

As I said before there was no mention of her personal shame and embarrassment that she probably would be feeling initially, which would then cause her to feel lower and lower, causing her to ultimately reach the decision to end her own life. There was no physically indication of her decline either, even in the very last episode when she “gives life one more chance” (her words not mine) by talking to the school counsellor about her own recent sexual assault, she is still wearing a face of make up, and is dressed nicely.

Yes I understand that everyone processes trauma very differently to one another, and yes perhaps Hannah’s way of dealing with a horrendous and life changing situation she should never have been put through was to carry on as if nothing happened, but to have her look consistently the same throughout each and every traumatic event in the series just doesn’t add up in my head.

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I could sit here for hours and type out why I felt this show was full of inaccuracies, how they could have made it better and why Bryce is just a terrible, terrible human being…

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…and yet through all of that 13 Reasons Why did actually do something really right.

Like most of us do, throughout my time spent watching this series I would google and wiki all the actors, the tv show, the producers etc, and through doing that I also saw the huge amount of independent blogs and articles on this show. Some slating it for the same reasons I had in my own head and others praising it for it’s frank depiction of teenagers, and how cruel they can be to one another. Some blogs said the final scene when Hannah ends her life by cutting her wrists and laying in a bath was far too graphic, where-as other writers felt it was perfect because it felt so real, despite it being hard to watch.

People were voice their opinions about the show all over, and by doing so, they were talking about mental health and suicide.

This is amazing!

The internet gives us the platform to discuss things to a huge audience of people that we wouldn’t have been able to do before, and this show has poured petrol on the fire and caused more discussions to take place. I haven’t seen a show do that for mental health in a while, and because 13 Reasons Why is being shown on Netflix hundreds of people will be able to access it really easily.

Perhaps some scenes are too much for those who are vulnerable, and could easily be triggers for people too, but for those who can watch it without those reactions it is perhaps a key starting point for them to develop an understanding into mental health and the impact it has on those suffering and those around them. Admittedly the TV show itself doesn’t always portray things as accurately as it perhaps could, and there could have been more research put into the real in-depth parts about Hannah’s mental health, and how those around her reacted to it but maybe this show is crucial for our continuing need to discuss these issues as a group.

It is crucial that we continue to have these discussions to educate those individuals who perhaps have never come into contact with those suffering with a mental health disorder (that they’re aware of).

It is crucial that those suffering with these illness’ continue to voice their own experiences to further help those who are also suffering, so they don’t feel so alone.

And in some weird way it is crucial, if you are in a good enough headspace to do so, to watch 13 Reasons Why.

It will probably annoy you for lots of reasons, and yes I know Bryce is awful, but if you’re like the rest of us and watch a series and do the research around it you will come across some really informative and well thought out articles (like this one I hope) around this show and the themes behind it, leading to more understanding in an issue really close to my heart.

In the words of Clay “It has to get better” and I 100% believe if we continue to talk about these issues…it will get better.

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If you can get yourself just one quiet moment in this ever growing noisy world, why not just grab it?

I’m in quite a good place lately.

My mental health is good and in check, it’s been sunny and I’ve been enjoying the wonderful company I keep around me.

There’s been an interesting development in the past week or so as well…

My fiance sent me a message on Wednesday afternoon, on his day off, telling me he had made an investment. He sent me a photo of some Warhammer 40,000 he had got. Now I have no idea what this game really is, all I know is that you put together some figures and paint them.

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What I didn’t expect however was what taking up this old hobby would do to Adam.

Adam suffers with quite bad ADHD. Sleep is a real struggle for him, sitting still, remembering things etc etc. You name the symptom, he’s got it. And ever since I met him I’ve never seen him sit still and focus quietly on something for long, that was until he got his Warhammer again.

When I got home on Wednesday we had dinner, and straight away he was putting all his models together and painting them. He was so calm, focused and thoroughly enjoying himself! Completely at peace. It was so lovely to see because I know how frustrating it is for Adam when he can’t switch off.

The next day we went into town and I bought Adam some more Warhammer, because I could already see the benefits it was having on him and if it’s helping even a little I’ll do what I can to keep that support around him.

Then I started thinking, if an old childhood hobby Adam took up again could soothe a busy ADHD mind, could one of my old childhood hobbies do the same for my busy anxious mind?

One hobby I’ve never stopped is gaming, so I thought I’ve got that as a little mind soother that I use quite regularly.

But what else did I enjoy?

A tv show called Yu-Gi-Oh!

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For those of you who don’t know Yu-Gi-Oh! is a Japanese (English Dubbed versions are available too!) anime series, based around a card game called Duel Monsters. Lots of magic, good guys fighting bad guys and monsters looking awesome. Everything you’d expect from an Anime Series…

When I was younger I was literally obsessed with this show and the card game. I used to record the tv show onto blank VHS tapes (yep VHS. Remember that?) and watch them over and over and over again. I had hundreds of the cards and I made my own cards.

My names Abby and I’m a Yu-Gi-Oh-Aholic.

I re-watched the show on Netflix about a year ago and got a couple of the comics too and fell in love all over again. So how could this old obsession help me in my adult life?

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That’s right. On Thursday 30th March I went onto Amazon and purchased a set of 2 starter decks of the Yu-Gi-Oh card game.

Thanks to Amazon Prime they came the very next morning. I’m not going to try and downplay this either. I was excited. Like really excited.

Admittedly they’re not what I remember from the cards when I was younger (“alright keep your hair on Grandma”) but it didn’t mean the nostalgia was any less.

On Saturday Adam went off to a gig in Luton which meant I was at home by myself with the cat…and an amazing card game I had missed dearly.

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I set up on the kitchen table and I was away. I spent a good 2 hours straight playing this game (against myself technically) totally focused and engulfed. It was incredible.

I was remembering all the trap cards you could play to win over your opponent, and how with one good move you could tip the whole battle in your favour. It was a full on nerd out.

I didn’t touch my phone, I didn’t look at a computer and my mind was calm.

If there’s something you remember that you loved doing when you were younger, why not try taking it up again? Whatever it is!

I think going back to a really simple mental place I was in when I was younger just made all that adult stuff I’m always thinking about stop for a moment.

It doesn’t make that stuff disappear, but if you can get yourself just one quiet moment in this ever growing noisy world, why not just grab it?

Plus, I’m always up for playing Yu-Gi-Oh! with someone…

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Sometimes it isn’t a funny trait anymore

I found that at some point or another everyone says they have OCD, whether it be about how their books are placed on their shelves, how their hair looks in the morning or even making sure that the frames on their walls are perfectly straight. But in my experience, OCD is far more consuming than just double checking things look right.

You check, then double check, then triple check, then quadruple check, then realise it’s 6 in the evening and you haven’t moved for 3 hours.

My dad suffers with OCD and growing up I was around that very controlling, obsessive way of being and it latched onto my subconscious like most of our parents habits do and as a result now I’m fairly controlling and obsessive. (I know shocker…someone with anxiety who can be controlling.)

My OCD definitely isn’t the worst that I’ve read up on, but it’s definitely enough to frustrate me regularly and get in the way of me doing certain things.

For example, I had a shower the other day. Naked of course, and I was looking at the shampoo bottles and where they were placed on the side of our bath.

“They just don’t look right there.” 

“But they’ve been that way for a while, it’s fine.” 

“But what if someone comes round and thinks “why has she placed her shower gel and shampoo bottles in the centre rather than the corner? I’ll move them.” 

“No don’t do that. You’re literally starkers with shampoo in your hair…just leave it.” 

“But now I’m thinking about this too much. I’ll move them and then I’ll just stop thinking about it.” 

*moves bottles* 

“There. Much better…no wait. Now what if Adam comes in and thinks “what has she done that for and moved them? They were fine” 

“He won’t even notice…now hurry up and finish washing your hair otherwise you’ll be late for work!” 

That thought process literally lasted the entirety of my shower. I moved the bottles back and forth about 2 or 3 times, staring them out each time I moved them. It’s like an itch you just cannot scratch no matter what you do, no matter where you move those damn shampoo bottles!

It’s not that I necessarily think something really bad will happen if I don’t scratch these itches, it’s more that I just want the thought to stop circulating in my mind, and doing whatever I can think to to make that stop. More than anything else, it is really frustrating! It’s just unhelpful nonsense!

But it’s so ingrained in me it’s hard to shake it off. The glasses in our cupboards have to be upside down and if one isn’t, literally every part of my body is screaming to put it the right way up. It just looks wrong. 

My desk at work has to be symmetrical, and my car has to be spotless otherwise I can’t focus when I’m driving. When there are too many boxes lying around near me at work (I work in Reception at a University so we get lots of deliveries) I have to sort them out otherwise my mind feels cluttered and I can’t focus.

Maybe it actually isn’t frustrating for people around me? They get their stuff tidied up pretty quickly without lifting a finger!

But it does get really really hard sometimes, and sometimes it isn’t a funny trait anymore.

I start thinking why can’t I just have a shower and not worry where the bottles are? Why can’t I put the glasses in the cupboard in any random order?

Then I start thinking over and over and over about why I’m thinking about it so much, and then I feel secluded and really down.

As always, my fiance is the voice of reason, and he will calmly ask me why I think things should be that way? And then we talk it out, then afterwards it doesn’t seem so important anymore.

Be patient if you know someone with OCD. It’s so consuming for them, sometimes they may be okay to laugh about it, but sometimes they may have spent hours that morning staring out a bottle of shower gel so they may need some help working things out.

The best thing I’ve ever seen on OCD was a poem written and performed by Neil Hilborn…check out the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnKZ4pdSU-s

It’s amazing.

Now I’m off to have a shower…

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5 Things I’ve learnt that might help you…(Maybe)

I read an article this morning, whilst I was waking myself up ready for the joys that this sunny Wednesday would hold, and I found it a bit frustrating to read.

It was titled “25 things that every woman should know by the age of 25” and I thought it may be interesting to read to get other people’s ideas on how to wade through the troubles of your mid 20’s.

It turns out this article just really focused hard on telling people to “get over it” a lot – such as “Some girls have it all. Get over it.”

Okay cool, I get that sometimes we need that kick up the arse, and someone to shake us wildly and say “get a grip!” I’m all in favour of that, but I also think sometimes, when you’re in a position to write, potentially, a good positive article for 20 something women to read, don’t be so brutal. Give some, perhaps, more constructive advice, and not just “get your foundation matched”.

But if this article works for some people, awesome! Crack on! It’s just for me personally, it didn’t resonate and it gave me the idea to just write a couple of things that perhaps I’d like to read in an article like this, so here it is…5 things that I’ve learnt and might help you…(maybe?)

1. Make-Up(?)

Here’s a fun fact – I didn’t start wearing make up until I was 16 and the worry and concern about how it looks on my little pale face still sits in my mind today.

Is my eyeliner running? Is my foundation rubbed in properly? Is every single individual eye lash separated perfectly?

hate that I do worry about this stuff as well, it causes so much annoyance in the mornings, to the point where I can literally see the sweat on my forehead and upper-lip appearing because I’m so hot and bothered about it. So here’s my tip about make-up…

Chances are, no one will even notice it.

If one eye lash is sticking out slightly more than the others, I guarantee you ask someone about it and they’ll say “I didn’t even notice until you said something”.

Just wear stuff on your face that makes you feel comfortable. If you feel great spending an hour in the morning putting on lots of different make up, awesome! If you don’t wear any make up at all that’s great as well. Just do this stuff for you and nobody else.

(I’m still working on this.)

2. Try not to spend too long looking at other people’s lives on social media.

It’s so easy to do. The problem with technology now is how quick it is, we can literally see the entire back log of that friend we went to school with 10 years ago in about 20 seconds. Who they’ve gone out with, where they went to Uni, where they live, how many adorable pugs they have…and before you know it you’re looking at a photo of their bedroom thinking “why don’t my bed covers match my curtains like that?!”

It’s toxic.

I love social media. I’m on it pretty much all the time because I am 100% a product of my generation and I am totally dependent and addicted to my phone. HOWEVER, I absolutely always make time, even if it’s a couple of minutes a day, to try to ground myself and remember what I have around me. I have a nice home, a lovely fiance, and the BEST cat in the world (decide amongst yourselves which one you think is at the forefront of my mind 24/7).

It’s so hard to not get sucked into social media, and think why is my life not like theirs, but just try every day to bring yourself back into the now and remember what you have around you to be happy about. Sometimes I even just think how happy I am to have a PS4 in my living room. (I’m a gamer through and through)

3. Them weird relationship things…

In the blog I read this morning there was a whole section on “sometimes guys just don’t fancy you. Accept it.” and I really didn’t like how it was worded.

Yes. This is true and sometimes the guy/girl you are crazy about just doesn’t see you in the same way, and it’s making you feel shit all the time. But rather than just washing your hands of it and thinking “okay onto the next” why not spend some time focusing on yourself? Build up your confidence a bit more so you’re not relying on a male/female to give you that confidence in yourself in the first place?

Be okay with you and comfortable being on your own for a little while!

(This is also something I’m still working on. REALLY working on.)

4. All work and no play makes 20 somethings MISERABLE.

A lot of people say to me when I say I’m tired “your 20’s are made for working mad hours because you have the energy to do it!”

I don’t necessarily disagree with that as I wake up at 5.30 Monday-Friday and then still have a bit of energy left in the evenings to iron my clothes for the next day, feed my cat, get myself some dinner, make my lunch for the next day and then read a book before bed. However, I do think we should also be understanding of 20 somethings who say they are tired.

There’s a bit of an expectation that we young adults fresh out of uni will just work whatever hours we are given because we are desperate for the money and experience, which probably is fair enough to believe, but give us a break! Don’t take advantage of our focused young minds!

If you’re tired from working too much, book a day of leave and give yourself a long weekend!

It’s crazy the difference it makes to have a Friday, Saturday + Sunday off together, or if you’re not in a normal Monday-Friday office job, find your next day or two off consecutively and then book a day of leave alongside that.

Make a plan to have a couple of days without any plans!

5. Enjoy yourself.

You’re not in Uni handing in assignments anymore, your awkward teenage years are far behind you and PE lessons are a thing of the past!

Now is the time to really focus on yourself and your own mental and personal development. You can reflect on the things that have stuck with you since you were younger and work out how to move on from them.

Be bold and fearless when you face the stuff that really scares you, and remember you are strong enough to do it. You’re strong enough to do anything you set your mind to!

It’s not going to be easy, but just be kind to yourself and give yourself breathing time if you need it.

And remember to be thankful every day you aren’t being forced to play netball outside in the freezing cold every week anymore…

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