I read an article this morning, whilst I was waking myself up ready for the joys that this sunny Wednesday would hold, and I found it a bit frustrating to read.
It was titled “25 things that every woman should know by the age of 25” and I thought it may be interesting to read to get other people’s ideas on how to wade through the troubles of your mid 20’s.
It turns out this article just really focused hard on telling people to “get over it” a lot – such as “Some girls have it all. Get over it.”
Okay cool, I get that sometimes we need that kick up the arse, and someone to shake us wildly and say “get a grip!” I’m all in favour of that, but I also think sometimes, when you’re in a position to write, potentially, a good positive article for 20 something women to read, don’t be so brutal. Give some, perhaps, more constructive advice, and not just “get your foundation matched”.
But if this article works for some people, awesome! Crack on! It’s just for me personally, it didn’t resonate and it gave me the idea to just write a couple of things that perhaps I’d like to read in an article like this, so here it is…5 things that I’ve learnt and might help you…(maybe?)
Here’s a fun fact – I didn’t start wearing make up until I was 16 and the worry and concern about how it looks on my little pale face still sits in my mind today.
Is my eyeliner running? Is my foundation rubbed in properly? Is every single individual eye lash separated perfectly?
I hate that I do worry about this stuff as well, it causes so much annoyance in the mornings, to the point where I can literally see the sweat on my forehead and upper-lip appearing because I’m so hot and bothered about it. So here’s my tip about make-up…
Chances are, no one will even notice it.
If one eye lash is sticking out slightly more than the others, I guarantee you ask someone about it and they’ll say “I didn’t even notice until you said something”.
Just wear stuff on your face that makes you feel comfortable. If you feel great spending an hour in the morning putting on lots of different make up, awesome! If you don’t wear any make up at all that’s great as well. Just do this stuff for you and nobody else.
(I’m still working on this.)
2. Try not to spend too long looking at other people’s lives on social media.
It’s so easy to do. The problem with technology now is how quick it is, we can literally see the entire back log of that friend we went to school with 10 years ago in about 20 seconds. Who they’ve gone out with, where they went to Uni, where they live, how many adorable pugs they have…and before you know it you’re looking at a photo of their bedroom thinking “why don’t my bed covers match my curtains like that?!”
I love social media. I’m on it pretty much all the time because I am 100% a product of my generation and I am totally dependent and addicted to my phone. HOWEVER, I absolutely always make time, even if it’s a couple of minutes a day, to try to ground myself and remember what I have around me. I have a nice home, a lovely fiance, and the BEST cat in the world (decide amongst yourselves which one you think is at the forefront of my mind 24/7).
It’s so hard to not get sucked into social media, and think why is my life not like theirs, but just try every day to bring yourself back into the now and remember what you have around you to be happy about. Sometimes I even just think how happy I am to have a PS4 in my living room. (I’m a gamer through and through)
3. Them weird relationship things…
In the blog I read this morning there was a whole section on “sometimes guys just don’t fancy you. Accept it.” and I really didn’t like how it was worded.
Yes. This is true and sometimes the guy/girl you are crazy about just doesn’t see you in the same way, and it’s making you feel shit all the time. But rather than just washing your hands of it and thinking “okay onto the next” why not spend some time focusing on yourself? Build up your confidence a bit more so you’re not relying on a male/female to give you that confidence in yourself in the first place?
Be okay with you and comfortable being on your own for a little while!
(This is also something I’m still working on. REALLY working on.)
4. All work and no play makes 20 somethings MISERABLE.
A lot of people say to me when I say I’m tired “your 20’s are made for working mad hours because you have the energy to do it!”
I don’t necessarily disagree with that as I wake up at 5.30 Monday-Friday and then still have a bit of energy left in the evenings to iron my clothes for the next day, feed my cat, get myself some dinner, make my lunch for the next day and then read a book before bed. However, I do think we should also be understanding of 20 somethings who say they are tired.
There’s a bit of an expectation that we young adults fresh out of uni will just work whatever hours we are given because we are desperate for the money and experience, which probably is fair enough to believe, but give us a break! Don’t take advantage of our focused young minds!
If you’re tired from working too much, book a day of leave and give yourself a long weekend!
It’s crazy the difference it makes to have a Friday, Saturday + Sunday off together, or if you’re not in a normal Monday-Friday office job, find your next day or two off consecutively and then book a day of leave alongside that.
Make a plan to have a couple of days without any plans!
5. Enjoy yourself.
You’re not in Uni handing in assignments anymore, your awkward teenage years are far behind you and PE lessons are a thing of the past!
Now is the time to really focus on yourself and your own mental and personal development. You can reflect on the things that have stuck with you since you were younger and work out how to move on from them.
Be bold and fearless when you face the stuff that really scares you, and remember you are strong enough to do it. You’re strong enough to do anything you set your mind to!
It’s not going to be easy, but just be kind to yourself and give yourself breathing time if you need it.
And remember to be thankful every day you aren’t being forced to play netball outside in the freezing cold every week anymore…